Good one from seanngrm
Most of my best stories involve Whisky.
As a tradition on St. Patty’s since I was a freshman in undergrad, I boil up a bunch of corn beef and cabbage for my friends and I try to finish off a bottle of Knapogue, people usually bring enough guiness for me to have a chaser. The drinking usually starts after lunch. Usually I tend to give out a few drinks and so don’t end up drinking quite the whole bottle but this particular year I think the vast majority of it was consumed by myself.
The party was a lot of fun every body was drinking green beer and car bombs, I had about 2lbs of brisket and potatoes in my stomach and the bottle was getting pretty empty so It was time to head out to the bars.
The first stop was a beer only place so I made sure to fill up my flask. I think I was upset that everyone at that bar was more interested in the Ducks basketball game than it being St. Patty’s day so I started abnoixously rooting for the opposing team(It’s good to have friends that can talk other people out of kicking your ass when you’ve just drank a bottle of whisky). So we soon left that bar but not before taking shots from my flask with the bartenders.
At the next bar I saw my former boss who I worked for as a field assistant the previous summer and she introduced me to the guy who would be my professor for geology field camp the next summer. A great first impression.
Finally we made it back to my house not realizing that my roomate already payed the taxi driver I guess I gave him a 15 dollar tip. Once inside I finished off the last of my whisky bottle and through it off the porch. Realizing how fun that was, I started looking for other things to through off the deck cause well, thats the way you reason when your on that crap. So next to go over the railing was all the empty bottles in the house. And then the dining room chairs (they were freebies).
When I woke up the next morning I was fully clothed, lying on the couch with the dining room table laying upside down in front of me and a beer bottle shaped dent in the wall.
I went off to work and when I got off and walked out to my car in the parking lot I noticed a large dent in the drivers side fender. Oh great I thought, not only are all my dining room chairs broken and along with all the sweeping up of glass I’m going to have to do, but some shiny happy person hit my car and took off. But there were no paint scrapes, someone must have kicked it, WTF. Then it hit me, it was me. Sometime during the night before, I went for a walk and kicked a huge dent in my car. I guess I thought it would be fun, again that’s the way you reason when your on that crap. I was so ashamed I didn’t tell anyone about it for at least week.
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