The Rum Diaries

ano sent this one

This story starts like every other one generally, at a bar. Myself and a friend were drinking steadily at the local TAB one fine evening, sticking to jugs of beer. The reason for this is twofold. Firstly, we are both uni students who are poor and barely cover drinking expenses. Secondly, there was a 21st later in the evening, which generally means a couple of grand at the bar and some serious drinking. After a little while, he realised he had to go to work, so he went there while i went home to drain my home bar. He works at a liquor store, and yes we did use that to our advantage when he was working there.

So a few hours later i got a lift from another friend, with the understanding that the first bloke would meet me at the 21st for some serious destruction of the bar. I got there first, as was my intention, to the horrible reality that was a 500 dollar tab on the bar which was restricted to beer and wine. Unfazed, i then started ordering and drinking at a rapid rate, while people streamed into the party. A couple of hours later, i had a good buzz but was nowhere near blackout island, when i found there was nothing left on the bar. Ironically enough, a few moments after this was when my friend arrived, cursing the fact that he had to stay at work for that long.

Now here is where we come to a fork in the road. As a rule, both of us never brought cash to a 21st, thinking wisely that if we didnt have any, it would induce maximum desperation pounding till the tab ran out. This was when i spotted a familiar light come on in my friends eyes, and knew we were heading to trouble. It seemed he had an idea to fix our immediate problem, one that ironically enough only possible because he had decided to go to work that day. Apparently someone had left a credit card when he was at the checkout, and apparently that credit card had somehow found its way into his pockets. From here there was only one possible result, and now we find our way to the chaos part of the story.

After ordering a couple of drinks to find out if this scheme was feasable, it became apparent that no one cared that the card was obviously originally owned by a asian lady, and neither of us are asian or a lady. After this our drink orders became more and more extensive, ending up buying everyone at the party cocktails of various descriptions. Needless to say, by the end of the night we were both completely wasted and had gained a couple of friends. One of the girls agreed to get a lift from us, even though it was clear we were both at about 5 times the legal limit. I was able to fathom that little Ano was in no danger of moving at this point, so i decided to do the right thing and drive so my friend could have a crack in the backseat.

Unfortunately, my good nature only lasts for a few brief minutes, so when i parked it was evident that instead of a house, we were situated in front of a bar. I was followed into the establishment by my friend who was not a happy chappy, although the stream of absinthe shots that were purchased inside placated him nicely. This is when my memory fades out, and the next thing i remember is waking up at home still very drunk, with the credit card still in my pocket. After placing a call to my friend, it was decided we would have a couple of brews to settle the system before he had to go to work again.

After these were ingested and he went to work, i went to the local nandos for a feed. I also placed a call to a few of my buddies, promising a good story and a free feed if they showed up. They did, and so we went from there to the local TAB, story told. On the way i saw two friends at a pancake parlor so i stopped in and ordered 6 scotch and cokes. Unknown to me however, they didnt drink before lunch (yeah not really friends, more acquantances) so i drank them all. I then made it to the TAB and started ordering jugs of scotch and coke and vodka lemon lime because i was the weird state of hungover where i didnt want beer.

3 hours later, me and the only friend left from lunch had a good glow going when we were joined by my friend from the previous night, who had finished his shift. We started drinking hard, and then decided to go out this night. We called around and got a few people to meet us in the city, and went to a different bar in the meantime. This is when we started ordering 25 dollar drinks such as jhonny gold for ourselves and randoms at the bar, and got nicely sloshed. From there it was club hopping time, and we hit about 5 different bars with 2 taxis of people, paying for everything courtesy of the aforementioned credit card. Late in the night my friend had the bright idea of going to the hookers, and i agreed even though i was pretty sure i was again at the point of no return downstairs. When we got there however, we found that the credit card was now not working, so we caught a taxi home.

I woke up the next day and cut up the card and threw it away, and ended up hitting the town that night as well, after which i spent 2 days curled up at home with the hangover from hell.

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